Friday, October 26, 2007
Wonder Woman
I had no idea I was living with Shelley the Fearless. Last night, we're sitting in the living room when we hear what sounds like someone running across the roof. My initial reaction was, "There's a Gremlin in the attic; where are the flashlights?" Shelley's initial reaction was, "Some bum is stealing my garbage can; I'm going to kick his ass." So Shelley stands up, opens the front door and goes outside. I've seen enough horror flicks to know that quizzical white people get their guts ripped out with a butcher knives. "Oh what was that noise? Let's investigate. Scream. Run away. Trip. Stab. Stab. Blood. Die." Apparently, Shelley hasn't seen a scary movie in her life. So She-Ra strolls out of the front door and around the corner of the house to check it out. I'm scrambling to catch up and finally get in front of her. I'm not sexist; I just don't want Leatherface to quarter my best friend with a chainsaw. And after successfully investigating, we discover there's no green monsters, masked maniac or drunk bum. What I did discover is that maybe Shelley can make me more fearless by the end of my stay. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get Uma to carry a sword.
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3 comments:
I think I said something more like "Holy shit! What was that?" but the rest is totally accurate. The worst part (for me) was that I was barefoot and my driveway is full of all these very sharp tree-droppings (not acorns, but something like them). Yowch!
Oh! Oh! And my favorite moment was when we were waving our arms at the corner of the house like frantic shipwreck victims, hoping to get the motion sensor lights to come on (they didn't).
So what was it? Enquiring minds need to know. Oh, and BTW, Black people ALWAYS get killed first in horror flicks!
oh, whiteys...big noises before halloween make for evil death. it is true.
shelley has more balls than i.
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